My freshman year of high school was sort of a mess. In the midst of just getting diagnosed, and wrestling for the correct medication, I had this problem that I couldn’t figure out.

In my most boring classes (or just my first classes of the morning), I would fall asleep in the middle of doing something. It wouldn’t be anything too dramatic, like passing out while walking in the hallway, but they were (still are) incredibly embarrassing.

I would have sleep attacks while writing notes in the middle of a lecture, or while reading something out loud with a partner. Whenever these episodes do hit me, it feels like I’m living in a sort of limbo. I’m neither awake nor asleep, but my eyes can’t see straight, and I miss chunks of what’s happening around me. I could pass out for 5 minutes and it would feel like an hour.

This is where the automatic behavior comes in. When the sleep attacks come during class, and I’m doodling in my notebook or something, I will continue doodling while I’m falling asleep. Then, once I wake up or someone shakes me, my hand is still doing this action. It’s doing it pretty sloppily, but it’s happening.

It’s like our bodies think they can trick everyone around us into believing we’re totally taking those important notes, while we’re actually slipping into a much needed nap.

I will upload another post with advice on how to deal with this at school, and communicating with teachers.